the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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