How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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