Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Randomize
