just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
