I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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