New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
