if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize
