I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
