Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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