What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
