so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
