You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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