Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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