Duck Duck Cougar?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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