I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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