do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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