your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We talked him into tasing himself.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
