so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
