He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
you never un-have a 4some
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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