Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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