i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
