I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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