I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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