If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
