Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
