Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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