We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
