just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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