the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
operation harelip BJ is a go
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
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