Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
