I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
