im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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