Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
