I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Randomize
