Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
