I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
