Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
