so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
