Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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