Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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