NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
