so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
