I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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