There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize
