I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
zippers are such a cool invention
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
