Do vagina's smell?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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