I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
