somebody snuck up and got me drunk
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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