I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
