He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
